The fallacy of nostalgia

I have now left secondary education. Not true. I in fact still have 5 exams to deal with, rehearsals with my school jazz band and results day before I actually leave school. But for all intents and purposes I have left school. And it feels strange. School is a constant in your life from when you are merely 4 years old. For the past 13 years of my life I have been in education, learning everything from how to add numbers, to how to analyse the true meaning of consciousness, and also a variety of useless skills such as how to say "unwanted pregnancy" in German, how to properly grease a trombone slide and how to make savoury muffins (who eats savoury muffins, I mean seriously?). But no matter what weird and wonderful things I was learning it was a constant. No matter how long the holidays or how exciting the prospect a three day weekend was, I always knew school would be waiting around the corner. In September I always knew the bus would arrive on the first day back after the summer holidays, I knew exactly where it would take me, I knew which people I would see, I knew the corridors I would walk down, I knew what time I would get home and I knew I would repeat it again the next day. For me, that was a comfort, and I wish I had appreciated that novelty of knowing exactly what each day would bring. Of course, there was always a few surprises, such as endless gossip, turbulent pubescent moments and the odd surprise essay, but there was structure and there was comfort in the people I was with. That is now a thing of the past for me. Ahead of me lies an uncertain life.

But this does not sadden me. This doesn't scare me. The reason for this is because I was ready to leave. School is brilliant don't get me wrong, but I think we all reach a point when we are ready to leave behind childhood and enter the adult world, even if it does mean leaving behind the comfort of school, the warm embrace of friends and loved ones, and the dread of doing your homework the night before lest you get a detention. (On a side note, I made it through 13 years of education without one detention, what a geek I am.) The days of playing tig in the schoolyard, queueing in the school cafe and handing in my homework is behind me, and I am glad of it. I am glad because it means I have adventure ahead of me. I have also labelled myself as an extrovert in one very particular aspect: travel. I may not be the most extroverted socially, but one thing I have always known about myself is my want to see the world. This is desire I have which I can now finally pursue. Yes, this does also mean that I have to deal with crippling debt, minimum wage jobs, and a bucket load of uncertainty and stupid decisions, but the thought of that is thrilling. The only way I can start this adventure, is by stepping out the front door.

For me, school has been brilliant. The memories I have made and the friendships I have cultivated, particularly over the past two years of sixth form, have been incredible and will undoubtedly include some of my favourite moments for life. Yes, school has made me the man I am today, it has allowed me to flourish from a stammering 11 year old into a stammering 17 year old but with the added ingredient of confidence. It has made me into a musician with an appreciation for Jazz of all things. It has made me into an individual, bot just a sheep following the herd. Without my schooldays to create my image of me, I would never be making the decisions I am making today. But it is time to let go. Whilst we may have found memories of our schooldays, I think it is a mistake to miss them. The memories are good and the times were fun, but if we spend our time looking back we can never fully appreciate what it is to look forward. Many people say their schooldays were the best days of their lives, but I refuse to accept this. If you accept this as fact then it will become true, but if you strive to make the days post leaving school the most enthralling and thrilling days you can then your best days are still ahead of you. I refuse to accept the best days are behind me, and I will look forward to a future that is fun filled and exciting, with a wealth of knowledge I have learnt from school to support me along the way.

I guess what I am trying to say is that absolutely anything is possible. So go and make those savoury muffins if you really want to. Climb that tree. Board that plane. Kiss that girl. Wear that dress. Swim in that river. Live Life. Love. Laugh. And be happy. You will thank yourself forever if you do.

School is now behind me, but life is just at the end of the diving board, and I'm ready to jump.

God that was deep.